I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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