Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
