i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
