Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize