I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I know her cup size but not her name....
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