You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
