I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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