just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
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Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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