I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
