Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
