Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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