There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
