so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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