you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
