My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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