if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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