don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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