i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he was CRYING into my vagina
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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