so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
