As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
