I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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