Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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