yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
