Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
