Me too!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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