The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
