every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
