question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
