some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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