I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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