The brown eye won't let me do that either.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
