I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
