Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
