I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Houston, we have a squirter
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
