pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
