Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
