My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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