Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
