as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize