no, he came in my armpit
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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