I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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