She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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