the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
