Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
It's shark week go big or go home
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
