Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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