my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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