I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
