I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
