forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
