Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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