i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
