i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
