I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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