I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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