she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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