just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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