Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
