You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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